Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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