And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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