Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
