He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
