I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
