chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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