Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
