toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
