we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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