I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
