maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize