ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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