he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
