Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
