he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize