Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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