i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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