I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
