I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
