I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
