Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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