Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize