we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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