I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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