Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
