I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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