Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
