Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

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  (562): glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore http://tfl.nu/a739
  Replies (26) Good night (723) Bad night (860)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading

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  (416): So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading http://tfl.nu/2fp9
  Replies (21) Good night (3223) Bad night (935)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with

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  (402): what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with http://tfl.nu/hfaq
  Replies (26) Good night (575) Bad night (2388)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon

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  (304): You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon http://tfl.nu/eqby
  Replies (5) Good night (4870) Bad night (1330)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.

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  (678): Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember. http://tfl.nu/s3lo
  Replies (51) Good night (4625) Bad night (1400)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.

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  (224): Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little. http://tfl.nu/kc37
  Replies (16) Good night (1764) Bad night (2694)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.

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  (206): Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower. http://tfl.nu/5wes
  Replies (6) Good night (1664) Bad night (864)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!

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  (610): Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans! http://tfl.nu/q5t9
  Replies (8) Good night (1670) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you

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  (269): If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you http://tfl.nu/cez4
  Replies (5) Good night (1854) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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  (774): I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/4yf1
  Replies (17) Good night (1525) Bad night (603)
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  (648): View more from

  Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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  (648): Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me. http://tfl.nu/1al0
  Replies (5) Good night (1248) Bad night (534)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  im coming over

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  (269): Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry (1-269): im coming over http://tfl.nu/72kd
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.

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  (601): When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/pgrs
  Replies (7) Good night (1846) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.

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  (740): Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life. http://tfl.nu/e384
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker

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  (315): she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/ddqo
  Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (662)

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