Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
