Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
