Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
