Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.

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  (416): If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay. http://tfl.nu/09z9
  Replies (10) Good night (2133) Bad night (960)
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  (212): View more from New York

  he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.

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  (212): he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform. http://tfl.nu/ifar
  Replies (16) Good night (563) Bad night (3400)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  where am I supposed to find one of those?

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  (225): I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8. (225): where am I supposed to find one of those? http://tfl.nu/uj31
  Replies (17) Good night (1145) Bad night (2596)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
  Replies (50) Good night (13055) Bad night (1496)
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  (516): View more from New York

  we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

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  (516): we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan http://tfl.nu/uipi
  Replies (16) Good night (5671) Bad night (1020)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.

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  (416): I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock. http://tfl.nu/lwgf
  Replies (14) Good night (3315) Bad night (1301)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him

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  (850): if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him http://tfl.nu/ohx4
  Replies (4) Good night (2321) Bad night (1688)
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  (714): View more from California

  my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.

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  (714): my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/3089
  Replies (14) Good night (2603) Bad night (709)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

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  (478): You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover http://tfl.nu/1qw9
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (979)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.

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  (503): Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination. http://tfl.nu/nd2x
  Replies (7) Good night (1551) Bad night (498)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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  (303): You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead. http://tfl.nu/vdho
  Replies (1) Good night (2027) Bad night (466)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."

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  (309): You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that." http://tfl.nu/6ywd
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.

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  (386): Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it. http://tfl.nu/ijpo
  Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (540)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there

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  (413): omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there http://tfl.nu/wvl8
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (273)
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  (916): View more from California

  I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.

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  (916): I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings. http://tfl.nu/ki9y
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (99)

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