How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
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Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town