whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I AM VODKA MAN
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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