just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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