I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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