i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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