Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
