You really coming over, don't trick.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
