Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
