im drinking this country out of the recession.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
