She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
