JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's like iHOP with fire
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
