well I can't set my house on fire every night
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ttyl tear gas
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
