dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize