I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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