these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
