Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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