She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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