don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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