so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
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I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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