The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
