I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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