I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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