sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
