I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
