There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
