You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
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I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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