fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize