Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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