DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
