I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
